Okay, punk rockers, patients, and patrons, we’re kicking off the QJE Brigade with a look at Waze.
QJE Assignment Number One: Waze
Love it. Works great. I miss the funny voices, but whatever… marketing dollars are probably drying up and Leo DiCaprio’s voice from “The Revenant” was too expensive. [By the way, that kid’s website is crazy cool. You’re welcome for the traffic, Leo.]
Here’s the expert Quality Judgement: we need some more buttons on that report page.
Traffic, accidents, potholes. Super fantastic. But, not good enough.
Button Idea 1: Idiot in the Fast Lane Driving Like the Freeway is a Fucking Holiday. NOTE: We’ll need one of those QA people to shorten that title. People of earth, let’s stop driving like hobbyists in the fast lane. It’s time. And, if we can report it and get some hive like action around the idiot in the fast lane, the better off we’ll all be. Can I get an amen?
Button Idea 2: Idiot on a Motorcycle Splitting Lanes Going 75. So, this seems obvious, yeah? These people drive my nutters. I don’t understand why these folks can’t put their leg down in traffic and wait in line like the rest of us, but they had some Karl Rove lobbyists working when that law was written. That’s not my argument. It’s those morons lane splitting when we’re doing 75 down the freeway, making good time. This button helps like this: (1) drivers will get notified to make space, boosting safety for riders; (2) drivers will get advanced notice to lower their windows, find their target, prepare the middle finger, and flip it strong.
Button Idea 3: Knuckleheads in Crosswalks. I’m a pedestrian at times. I walk. I get it and respect the pedestrian right of way. But, holy macaroni, there’s got to be some way to help these folks speed it up a bit. I got places to go. I don’t have time for your parade. My sense is that a “Speed it Up, Champ” button on the Waze app would help. Here’s how it works: hit the alert button to send out a push notification to the folks in your immediate area. In my perfect little world, folks see that notification and get hustling. Yeah?
Okay, that’s it for now. Hit me back with your ideas.