This may not make any sense. This may be the worst thing I ever write on this blog. But, here goes:

I’m writing to write. I’m writing because maybe something will become clearer in my head. I’m writing because hopefully, one of two things will happen: someone will write to say, “Yep, me, too.” Or, even more, I’m hoping that someone will write, “I’m on the other side, and here’s why.”

I’ve asked and asked and asked this question of people who are Republican or who voted for Trump or who believe what’s happening in the U.S. government is okay: Is this the way you want to treat people?

I mean, listen, I understand wanting to defund, um, some program that does nothing to benefit the citizens of America. Like, ethanol subsidies. How much money has been spent over the years because a political candidate needs to do well in some corn producing state? A FUCKING LOT.

And, sure, I DO NOT AGREE with it, but I understand the xenophobia that has inspired this Travel Ban thing that this administration keeps trying to push through. I get it. We fear what we don’t understand. I was like that for a long time. I grew up in a small town.  I had minimal exposure to a variety of races and religious beliefs. I had no exposure — I thought — to men who loved men, women who loved women. So, I was afraid, and that lead to anger and that lead to hate. Yep.

[Sidebar: I grew up in a small town and went to a high school that was religious and conservative. It was an all boys school. I had no clue how many of my classmates were gay. NO CLUE! I was honestly surprised when 25 years later we reconnected on Facebook, and some of them were in same-sex marriages. Listen, I didn’t say disgusted or anything else negative. I said surprised.]

Okay, back to my earlier point.

That hate, anger, and fear dissolved when I met people of different races, religions, sexuality. I realized that people “different than me” were not against me. They weren’t trying to take something away from me. They were just living their lives. Exposure, education, and maturity enabled me to recognize the good in all people. That freedom changed my life.

Okay, so whatever….

I asked this question of my 400+ friends on Facebook a month or so ago:

I need to know the answer to this question: if you consider yourself a Reagan Republican, do you support this administration?

I want to be clear about this: I grew up in a Republican family. I first registered as a Republican. I campaigned for Reagan (Don’t tell my in-laws that, please). Many of my family are Republicans. Many of my friends are Republicans. I have no issue with that. But if you were raised in that political ethos, how do you get behind this crew?”

I’m gonna guess that a solid 25% of those friends and family are Republicans. NOT ONE OF THEM REPLIED. NOT ONE.

Again, I understand the political pendulum. I get that what Obama did was a reaction against Bush, what Bush did was a reaction against Clinton… That’s democracy. I get it. And I understand that Trump’s administration would reverse the most liberal of Obama’s achievements.

But, come on. What’s happening now is just brutality. It’s a blatant power grab. It’s a reaction to uneducated fear.

And it’s absolutely one-billionty degrees away from the Christian faith that these people allegedly practice.

Take away health care from the poor? Make it harder for non-whites to vote? Stop feeding our most vulnerable? Promise one thing (be the champion of the little guy) and then put all of the most powerful and rich in positions of ultimate responsibility.

Here’s one thing I’ve learned about being in business and being around very successful business people: 90% of business people only care about making money and accumulating power. Helping others has nothing to do with their view of success. So, putting those folks in government positions is anathema to who they are as people.

Okay, here’s a question I’d like to have an answer to that’s related to this point: What is the role of government?

Help citizens prosper, stay healthy, stay safe?

Or…. What?

I’m losing the string. I’m gonna come back to this.

I’m vexed. I want to understand. Please help.